Having a heavy heart at Christmas is the worst:( there is nothing that can shake me out of this. I guess the feeling is right now that we will never be ok.never. I have been trying. really because, it is all I can do. My Christmas feel good list includes... watching Elf as much as possible, Christmas Songs whenever in the car, lighting my Christmas Candle, lights on all day long, remembering all of the Christmas's in past,baking goodies for neighbors and so much more. Wishing for the Whitest Christmas ever and hoping we all stay healthy! So, stress is high and Scott has been working a ton so we are just a little cray around here! Dreaming of a Vacation somewhere warm... Maui? ha.

He lives in his Polar Bear Jammie's, they keep him warm on Coldy Cold days 

Getting excited for all of his First's... and that warms my heart like a Snuggie pair of Polar Bear Jammie Jams! Stay tuned:)

Trying on a little MERRY

December. Can't slow it down now or make it go any faster... it is already going pretty fast. We had a really nice Thanksgiving surrounded  by Family, Love and too much Food! My brother was a Big part missing and it felt pretty bad. While being Thankful last month felt good, everyday without him feels like the biggest sting. I keep praying for his strength to lift me up:) Our computer took a hit and was down, Beau accidentally poked me in the eye and scratched my cornea :( so I was down. We somehow since last Christmas misplaced all of our stockings, hangers and a few ornaments, so no Allan on the mantle this year. Life keeps throwing the punches and somehow we all keep rolling with them. I knew Christmas this year would be hard last Christmas because, I knew Our sweet Uncle would not be here. Never would have imagined how hard it would be without my brother. I am trying to be strong for so many right now but, the truth is I am crumbling inside. This year is the first year that Beau actually gets it... I have to pretend to be happy at a time when I should be so HAPPY and although he will not remember any of this, I will forever carry this pain. Last Christmas Allan with the kids made each one of his sisters a Manger Scene, when I opened it I remember feeling this overwhelming feeling of being so LOVED he was so happy to give them to us and I couldn't wait to get it home and put it under our tree. It was his last gift to me and his gifts were something I always looked forward to.

 every year we will have him with us no matter what, he is here and in our hearts forever.
Trying to keep up the Merry Christmas act is hard, Beau is so excited! Today we took him to meet Santa so he could tell him what he wanted. We have been practicing for a while so, I was pretty sure that he would not disappoint only he did:( he was fine sitting on his lap #notears but, he just could not get the words out! So I was his mouthpiece "Santa, Beau would really love a RACE CAR this year"  Santa did not skip a beat he was on it! " Santa will make sure to tell the elves to get started on a Race Car!" a few high fives were exchanged along with a Hug and Santa handed him off to Mama. We were just about off the stage when Beau decided to tell Santa he wanted a RACE CAR!!! That a boy:) It was such a special moment.

Smile :)

distracting Santa

Thinking about telling Santa

Santa HIGH FIVER!

So here we go... there is still so much to do! Of course we have not shopped at all but, know everything we want to get so it should be pretty easy. Last year Scott and I made it a date night with a little dinner and drinks before, this year I think we will do it after! Trying my best to find the JOY and Keep prayer in my heart. This is going to be rough.

SO MUCH

THANKFUL for SO MUCH! Our Families, Our Friends, Our Health, We have a roof over our head and food on our table. To remind myself was a challenge because, of our year has been so very hard. Life going on seems impossible sometimes so, to keep myself in THANKS mode has been very rewarding. My Brother is all around me, I really can feel him almost everyday pushing me to be strong and have faith. Yesterday, I got a new voice mail, and was forced to go through all of my saved ones, I have  quite a few saved from my Uncle Bill, he always left the best messages. I am so very THANKFUL I saved them:) yesterday, I needed to hear his voice and so I listened to all of them. He was such a positive man, fighting cancer had to be hard but, everyday no matter how bad he felt he always had a way of  making other people feel better about themselves. I loved that man with my whole heart and miss him so much it hurts. Really to be honest this year has pretty much sucked. We lost two of the most incredible souls, this pain is so intense and real that it sometimes takes so much to get through the day. I am THANKFUL for my faith in GOD he helps me when no one else can. I am THANKFUL for the continued support surrounding our family, I am THANKFUL for prayer because, I know that it works. I am THANKFUL for my little boy who gets to see his Angels every night when they tuck him in:) I am THANKFUL for my Zoey she is a real life Angel sent to me almost 11 years ago, I am THANKFUL for a loving supporting man who works so hard for our family. Seriously I could go on and on because, the truth is I have SO MUCH to be THANKFUL for.

#BLESSED  Tomorrow will be a very hard one. I will pray that we as a family can enjoy each other and try to remember that This life is too short. Happy THANKSGIVING from Our Family to yours:)

THANKFUL FAMILY

Trying to keep grooving with the THANKS! When I met Scott,  I didn't know how Blessed I would be until I met his FAMILY! Like all of his family! He took me on a trip to Leland for the first time right after we started dating. That trip I met a lot of Sweeney/Rohs... of course we were just first dating so I did not really put much more thought into it but, I remember feeling so welcome and that was a good feeling! Since then this Family has become my Family and I love every single one of them!

 Big Families are AWESOME! Especially this one:)

My Mother in-law is pretty Amazing! This was from my Bachelorette Party both my Mom & her joined in on the Embarrassing FUN:) I have been told that my Mother in-law is pretty Awesome by friends and it really is so true. Truly feel blessed by this relationship and THANKFUL that she is such a HUGE part of our lives:) Beau, has such a special bond with her too. 

This family has welcomed me from the very beginning and continue to Amaze me by their Love and Generosity.

When I married this man, I married into the most wonderful family:) 

THANKFUL everyday for them!

We are still in on the mend just last night our little had a little fever and would not eat dinner:( he wanted cuddles and The Cars movie, we opened that door the first time around... he is hooked on cars! Thanksgiving is next week and for the first time in a long time I will be going to The Cook Family gathering with Beau... Papa has to work:( super bummed but, Beau is going to have a BLAST! There will be no shortage of fun for him with Cousins out the wazoo:)

Halloween + Fall

Well, it seems quite appropriate to post about our Fall and Halloween today since... 

IT IS SNOWING OUTSIDE!

 Not really ready for it but, we have a cute little boy who is SO excited to get out there and explore:)

Halloween was well, kind of a bust... BOO. Papa  had to work so Mama was on Candy Patrol and Trick or Treat Patrol #doublethefun Nana stopped over to drop off a costume because, I decided to not go out and find my original idea so Giraffe it was going to be, until Beau decided he would not be a Giraffe. Minutes before Six like 20 I scrambled and put together my original idea and Mr. Train Conductor was ready to do his first ever Trick or Treat!

Mama's hat and scarf his little pin stripped pants and a blue button up shirt oh, and his Thomas the Train flash light " I will light the way" It actually looked pretty good! Mama was a Kitty Cat.

Once Nana left we had a little Halloween Pre-Snack and then it was time to TRICK OR TREAT!

We had been practicing all week and he really had it down, our first stop next door where we picked up Nick&Elyse to go on our street while their Mom passed out our candy to "all the trick or treaters"  

 If only we had  any Trick or TREATERS! These three were it! Oh, and a little 8 month old baby strapped to her Mama:) so 4!Really not impressed. Next year we will be going to the other neighborhood! This year was so cold and rainy so we were ok with this outcome! Grandma dropped off some Pizza, we ate dinner in the garage while waiting for Trick Or Treaters that never came!

 Pumpkin Carving this year was a morning activity so instead of Beer we drank Coffee! My Big Pumpkin idea failed this year because, our little Pumpkin refused to get in:( I think we freaked him out so that tradition ended at #2
                                                                                                                                        

Yard work in fall my Favorite! 

 I think it is safe to say we will never run out of cars! This boy is stocked:)

Boot ready:) Backpack Thomas the Train  (gift from Aunt Eileen) he refused to take this off...even wanted to sleep with it on!

Footed Jammies are his FAV!

 He loves Jumping in Leaves:)

Fall walks are a MUST!

 

Beau and his little friend Annabelle she lives on our street... he likes an older lady just like his Papa:)

Pancakes made with PUMPKIN check that off the FALL menu:) 

Fall was short and Sweet and in my opinion not long enough:(  Missing my Uncle and Brother so much as we get closer to the Holidays... time to start Breathing Deep and Praying this Winter is not too long.

THANKFUL Since 2005

We are all still under the weather but, coming back soon... I can feel it! We took a family day yesterday with Nana to the Museum, MAMA needed fresh air! Beau needed out too so, we did the History/Science instead of the kiddo area so we could keep our germs and hopefully not pick up any new ones! It was fun but, probably next time just do kiddo:) So the weekend is here and so is the bug :( but, I can feel it going! fingers crossed.

 This post of THANKS is about this guy. This Friend, Partner, Father, Husband. He has been by my side since 2005 and everyday I am so very THANKFUL that he came into my life almost ten years ago. We have a funny love story and our journey has been a real trip, Ten years together, Five years Married and almost 3 years as Parents! We have had some great moments and some not so great moments and through it all he is always by my side. This past year has been one of the most challenging years, this man has been my support and without him I do not know what I would do. To say THANKS to a man who does it all is, hard to do. Truly one of a kind... 12 years ago when we first met I had no clue at all that I would end up being the luckiest girl in the world:)

He is such a great Husband and an even better Papa!

This picture says it all!

 

This was our Anniversary this year, we made a special trip to the overlook where we were married four years ago 4-17-2010 That day was filled with so much emotion and we were surrounded by our family and so much LOVE :) This place will now be where we stop every year on our date for a quick reflection and a toast to our future! I really did Marry the Man of My Dreams:) 

 

 Thankful for a great Partner in LIFE

Thanks to our Health

Just a few things I am THANKFUL for this week, to continue with November THANKS.

Last week we caught a little bug and it took over this little house and hopefully by this weekend this thing is out for good! So, I have had a few moments this week to reflect on our health, we have been so blessed that Beau has never been sick in his 2 years... once he had a little overnight thing but, nothing like this. It has been exhausting I mean cuddles all. day. long. exhausting! Breaks my heart but, happy I was able to be here to comfort him:( because, that is all my little boy wanted was his Mama.

So THANKFUL we have a little Cuddle Bug:) His cuddles are all I need sometimes:) He likes a good Cuddle from his Papa too!

So this Beauty came into town last Month :) She is my GURL and I am so very THANKFUL for her friendship 23 years and she still makes me laugh like we are 16 again! Beau, loves her too... duh! Best Friends are hard to come by... I seriously won the bff lotto! Someone who sticks by your side when you are at your lowest... this girl has picked me up off many a floors:( She is such a big part of my heart. Our home is filled with her Art, even Beau's room has a special piece she made just for him for his first birthday he wakes up sometimes and sees it above his bed and says "kaadee Mama, Kaadee did that!" We are all so very THANKFUL for Our Kadie:) She may be miles away but, she is so very close to my heart! #loveher

Last week we found this sweet girl in our backyard:( They always find us when we have stuff going on! This night we had a friend coming over for a fire pit, so she just became part of the party and then a little over night at our house because, no tags and no microchip! Her owners ended up living on the street behind us and didn't know she was gone until later that night. Our friend named her Charlene... Beau loved her, he kept trying to get her to read books with him and play with his toy's "tarlene look at this!" She loved him too:) After her owner came we found out that, Reese (not Charlene) has a little 2 year old boy of her own! So very THANKFUL we found her home... because, I was all like, "Scott can we keep her?" To which he answered... absolutely not! Oh, well it was a very Happy ending for everyone because, she was a very loved Pup! THANKFUL that we still have the RESCUE BUG :) Because it feels good! Back in a few days to keep up with The THANKFULLNESS