31 Weeks of Emotions

We are almost to this Little Nuggets Birthday! Life is going to change in some pretty crazy ways for us. Emotionally I am all over the place with this... Beau was truly a Blessing and looking back on all of our pictures and videos has my crazy hormones all in a rage. Next month we will be celebrating his third birthday, next month we will be a year since my brother has passed. Next month will be a year since the last time I hugged or even saw my brother. I am very afraid for many reasons but, mainly because I am about to be blessed with another little baby to love during a very difficult time for my family. This life stuff is hard. I look at the innocent little boy who is learning so much so fast and I break down. My fears are great right now and I struggle to sometimes keep it all together but, I am his Mama and I know it is my job to. We are about to be a family of four and that freaks me out a little bit even more so than becoming parents for the first time.  Beau will be an Awesome Big Brother for so many reasons but, mainly because, of his kind heart and this makes all these sad moments I am going through right now a lot more manageable.

Life is slowing down in many ways... Beau has to be his independent self which makes time management so much harder! If we are in the biggest hurry is when it gets to me...I always pray for patience during these times! We sure do know we have our work cut out for us after Nugget arrives and hope we can figure out new routines pretty quickly and become even more organized than ever! My heart knows we do have some really big hurdles ahead of us for so many reasons, praying harder than ever that we can get through these tough times, while still enjoying the happy moments. My Brother and Uncle are not far from us and the feeling of their love is helping me deal with everyday stuff. I truly feel they sent this baby to us for us to love. Everyday without them is hard, some days life is easy breezy and then the next you are hit with this awful reality. Tomorrow will be 11 months without him. My views on a lot have changed over the past 11 months especially life and bringing another life into the world right around the time we lost a very special one is going to be so very bittersweet. Please keep us in your prayers.

Happy times do exist and I will embrace them because, if anything I have realized in the past 11 Months you really never know!

 This is life and we are doing our best to live each day even though some days are harder than others:( Prayers for all of our Family and Friends going through difficult times.