I have never been so glad to say that Christmas is over in my life. This year was everything I felt it would be. He was deeply missed and Christmas will never be the same again. We will be forever lost without him and our hearts will continue to hurt so much because he is no longer a part of our traditions. We did try though, and because we did I think we can every year to make it a little less painful. We lost all of our stockings somehow from last year? Not sure how this happens but, it did and we searched and searched they are just gone. Not having them up would feel weird too, so my Sister decided to put it out into the Universe to get 20 new stockings by Christmas to surprise my Mom and The Universe responded (Lands End sent 20 stockings with all of our names embroidered on them!) Very much like the ones we already had. "Our Christmas Miracle" we did surprise her very much, so much she thought we had found the original ones! That part actually felt good, having him up there again with all of us, needed to happen. They even sent one for my Uncle Bill:) everything else you can file under I wish we were not going through this.
Some good things will be coming but, the days without are more difficult than ever imagined. So the New Year is here. I am hopeful that there will be healing as we move forward and closer to that year mark without him. My Uncle Bill will be gone a year next month. Hard to believe, feels like we never really had time to grieve for him. :( In this New Year I will try and to be a better Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Wife, Mother and Friend. I will take care of my self and give back. I will make sure to not lose time with those who Love me and those I Love. I will remember the little moments with my son and hold the moments with my brother so close to my heart.
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